As time goes by, I continue to think about all that has taken place these last several days. God has brought me to yet again, another fork in the road. I am called to stand back from the zone of comfort I have made for myself and forced to walk back into that narrow road of solidarity. When I receive suffering, I am generally the first to complain about it. I wonder why God has placed me in the current situation. Life is tough. The world never promises happiness. The world doesn't promise that everything will end perfectly. This is where we must pull ourselves from the things of this world, solely focusing on Christ and the will He has for us.I guess this is easier said then done.
Especially in these times of suffering, I try to unite mine to that of Our Lady of Sorrows. She promises to help us in our afflictions. I pray that she will give me all the peace that I need. I want nothing more then to be made into a saint. Everyday, I gain a better understanding that sainthood, while virtuous and plentiful, is supported by much suffering and opposition.
I also understand that gossip will take place. Things will be said that hold no merit or truth. Society has made this the norm. In order for us to feel good about ourselves, we feel the need to tear others apart. While this is sometimes harder than embracing suffering itself, I am working towards silence. It is through absolute silence that one is made pure. Silence brings about an inner peace. Once silence is conquered, one can begin to listen to Christ as he leads them to true sanctification. My prayer is that Our Lord will bring about a renewal of mindsets, allowing us to trust solely on his will. If we can work to maintain this, the false opinions of others will mean nothing. The snares of the devil will not be heard through gossip. This is truly what gossip is; the pure hate and deception of the devil. We have to stand up, recall our own inclinations towards this horrid sin, and speak only of people as we would of Christ.
Finally, I must strive towards holiness. In order to reach this, I have learned that I must not rely too heavily on people. I often find it easy to rely on friends for advice or comfort. In the past 2 years Christ has begun to show me differently. As soon as I become dependent on an individual, they are pulled from my life, leaving me standing alone. I take this as Christ showing me that I must only trust in him. I can no longer expect friends to hear my deepest sorrows or afflictions. I must not rely on friends to hear my successes. I must share these with Christ himself. It is Him who will share my joy and sorrow. Only He can truly understand what is happening in my life. The only people I must attempt to relate to are the Communion of Saints. These people are wonderful examples of God's love and mercy, and know exactly what it means to reach holiness.
While times may be rough, situations hurtful, I know that these things happen in order to bring one closer to Christ. I must rejoice in this. Christ is asking me to drop all worldly possessions, stop relying on friendships, and avoid those who will seek to tear me down. On the surface this seems real difficult. I often feel alone, desolate, hurt, forgotten, and most of all misunderstood. It is time to stop feeling these things, and thank God for the opportunities to show my love for him. I leave you with an entry from St. Faustina's Diary where she discusses this very idea.
"True love is measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitude's, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness."
- St. Faustina (Divine Mercy in My Soul)
I hope you may be able to find some inspiration from this...Continue to fight the good fight, rejoice in the worlds opposition and humiliations. It is only through this that we get the opportunity to become cleansed for a greater fulfillment in heaven.
In Christ through Mary,
Anthony
Posts
